bumping for interest

Stay classy

i'm sure a few of you have hilarious stories about stupid shit girls say

le bumpo

bump for intredast

>girl opens mouth
>instantly a stupid comment is said

everytime

samefagging alone until 404

me too

>In Physics class in High School
>Sitting beside my friend (both of us /b/tards) while we're doing assigned work.
>Said something that a girl 2 tables away from us heard.
>She replies, "PALMFACE"
>My friend and I laugh histerically.

>>331384353
I lol'd. :D

>>331382440
>>331382440
>>331382440
Wait... are you me? That happened to me yesterday. What the fuck.

>work at mcdonalds
>at the drive thru window
>group of drunk sluts walk up
>policy is to only serve customers in cars
>i tell them i can't serve them if they're not in a car
>"i'll give you a bj if you serve us"
>"ok, on my break, in about 20 mins?"
>get shitty blowjob, my dick smelled like cheap vodka for the rest of the night
>"sorry, can't serve you if you're not in a car"
>mfw

bumping for potentially epic thread

>junior year
>sitting in class
>two girls behind me talking
>"OMG, leik, I hate when im texting my boyfriend I tell him "I dunt wanna talk right now" and he's like "OK"
>"OMG, I KNOW, RIGHT? That's when, like, I WANT to talk!"
>mfw

stupid cunts

>>331386055
nice try, fag. 4Chan+ ftw.

>>331386247
>mfw a post contains "mfw" with no indication of an actual reaction (via an image or a self-typed image-name)

Was on a forum board trolling women who got raped or support other women who got raped
>"I should be able to walk down the street naked and No would still mean no."
SO I said
>That's like me saying I should be able to walk into a black neighborhood decked out in my KKK gear and not get killed
she mad

>>331386907
mfw that

>>331386247

you fukken lie op

Girl in my class was saying she wants to get a meaningful tattoo, so shes getting her initials on the back of her neck (so deep, amirite?) and how she will get it removed when shes older so she can be buried in a Jewish cementary.

>mfw

MOAR

>finish eating my chips and drop the packet where i'm standing

nice move asshole

was carpooling to some school formal with a bunch of people
>guy in lead car was black
He stops to say that we were going to change routes and not take the tollway considering he didn't have a tolltag
>girl next to me turns to me and says "why can't he take the tollway is it because he's black?"
ohgod.avi

>>331386867
Women who say the opposite of what they mean and get mad when guys take it at face value piss me the fuck off...

>331386247

>>331386907

when they have no face that means they either forgot it or their face exploded from the sheer stupidity or awesomeness of the subject at hand.

> women

>girl drops books
>black guy checks her out
>she calls 911 on him
>black guy punches her in the face and runs away

b in advanced anatomy class
through whole year we'd blame the teacher's phone on the fire exit sign (beethoven)
fire alarm goes off and stupid femanon asks why beethoven isn't playing aswell

all girls are stupid

every single one deserves to get raped

I went to my corner burger place ordered double bacon cheese burger special
Lady asks with cheese?
Took her a long stare to realize wut she asked
Mfw

>>331387956
No, it means they're pieces of shit.

had a science type class in high school
teacher was this old bitch who had like seizures and bled everywhere
One morning she was talking to us and she was like global warming here on earth is melting the ice caps on mars
my mind was full of fuck

>be yesterday
>go on facebook
>see slut has posted something with lots of comments laughing
>look at status
>"OMG i didnt now that like the titanic was based on a real thing"
>mfw

>>331388305

spoken like a true /b/tard.

>>331386247

>be at summerfest
>be 19, but look 21ish
>3 clearly 16-17 year girls ask me if i can buy them each a beer
>say sure but i need $25
>take money, never see them again

>>331388222
wut

>>331388222
>hrough whole year we'd blame the teacher's phone on the fire exit sign (beethoven)
fire alarm goes off and stupid femanon asks why beethoven isn't playing aswell

wat

Explain.

I had an ex gf that was so fucking stupid she couldn't figure out how to pull her car into the gas pump so that the pump was on the same side as the gas tank. She tried 4 times..failed...and then made me do it for her. Also same girl..handed me a 50 and a 20 one time and asked me if that equalled 70 dollars. She was 20 years old ffs

>>331388484
dont suppose you work at the same mcdonalds as me in brisbane?

>>331388511
Thats so boss man

>>331387956

mcdonalds guy here

no face because i was too busy taking people's orders to be busy giving facial expressions to drunk bitches

>>331388511
>>331388511

You sir, are my hero.

>>331388222
Does know how to greentext or what a femanon is. Summerfags all up in here.

>Be a femanon
>Never shows tits

>work at grocery store
>the weekend before 4th of July
>push carts and make close to min wage while feeling degraded cause I poorfag
>fuck ton of people there to buy food and shit for the 4th
>spoiled to fuck woman comes up and asks why it's so crowded here
>I said it's a few days before 4th of July and people want their stuff
>she says she's been here a few weeks ago and it wasn't crowded then, she still doesn't understand
>are you fucking kidding me?
I just walked away I can't deal with stupidity in that great of a level

>Do chickens have utters?

>>331388903

Master trololo.

>at friends graduation party
>talking about random shit
>somehow we start talking about germany
>girl asks us to do a german accent
>poorly execute said accent
>she asks if that's what german people really sound like
>I say yes, she can just listen to hitler giving a speech to hear a better one
>her response, "but Hitler was russian."
>mfw

>work at mcdonalds (different guy)
> convince girl that pigs laid eggs
> best mates jump in on it without any warning at all
> she starts to believe
> we tell her to confirm it with the store manager who was in to do month end
> she gets sent home for talking shit
> MFW

>>331388718
nah, i'm an amerifag. why, someone at your mcdz do something similar?

It's kinda depressing knowing that women can be this stupid.

>>331389110
Do the chickens have large talons?

>>331388903
>>331388903
you sound like a fucking junior high kid. schools out early?

>driving with my sister in the car
>its a bright and sunny day
>theres a car in front of us, its wet, probably from a carwash or some shit
>she sees that it has Washington plates
>She looks at me, and says "Look! It's raining in Washington!"
>we're in southern California
>mfw

>Be 16
>Friend and I are trying to fuck 2 girls
>Go skinny dipping
>Convince them both that you can tan by sunlight refracting on the surface of the moon.
>mfw

>talking to random girl at school
>kinda hot but not sure if stupid
>subject becomes increasing fuel prices
>She says
>"We should all just stop driving cars for a few years to give the earth time to make more oil for us"

BITCH DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT FOSSIL FUEL MEANS!

>mfw

>>331389390
SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER

>>331388903
>>331389131
samefag...

>>331386986
Rape apologist detected. You might as well be a muslim and kill women who get raped and say that they committed adultry.

>Be senior in high school taking freshman elective course
>stupid blond bitch interrupts class leaving for bathroom
>Comes back an hour later
>thinks its a good idea to explain herself
>says she could not find a bathroom door unlocked
>MFW the bathroom three rooms up from our room has no doors on it

The teacher made so much fun of her during the first month of class. She never even understood she was being insulted. I would of fucked the shit out of her cute little mindless face.

>>331389778
i was gonna point that out too but im lazy

>>331389778

Not even samefag. If you can sincerely make a person believe all that shit...Man, I'm starting to wonder if all the stupid shit women say are just poorly executed jokes?

>sis in law goes to a buffet, tells wifey to look over by our table
>wifey looks but doesn't see anything
>sis in law says "that girl over there looks just like me"
>wifey looks again but doesn't see anyone
>sis in law points
>direction she is pointing at is a full-wall mirror

>>331389986
Not lazy enough not to say that you're lazy, apparently.

>>331384353
>Littering
Thanks for ruining th Earth candy-ass, that girl was right to want to report you.

>>girl in homeroom overhears us making fun of popular hick kid, calling him amish
>>asks if he's actually amish
>>he constantly has his cell phone out, wears abercrombie, etc.
>>entire class says yeah, teacher even joins in on it
>>dumb bitch believed he was amish until the end of the year

i lold

>In biology class discussing something involving the texture of a certain cephalapod
>People writing down what teacher says
>Teacher: "As you can see, it's skin is very rough..."
>Stupid blonde in my class blurts out "How do you spell rough? R-U-F-F?"
>Me: "Get the fuck out"
>Get sent to the principal's office
>He laughs his ass off at the story and we go down to the teacher's lounge to grab some sodas.

>>331389390
Going into my senior year in highschool, just needed another year of science so i wouldnt have to take it in senior year.

Oh boy I have some good ones
>>High school junior year
>>science class
>>were talking about the ocean or sumsuchshit
>>someone says something about fish mating
>>intelligently discuss topi
>>suddenly
>>confunsednoisefromtheback.mp3
>>big titted girl exclaims
>>THERE ARE GIRL FISHES?!?!

>>MFW

>In biology class discussing something involving the texture of a certain cephalapod
>People writing down what teacher says
>Teacher: "As you can see, it's skin is very rough..."
>Stupid blonde in my class blurts out "How do you spell rough? R-U-F-F?"
>Me: "Get the fuck out"
>Get sent to the principal's office
>Get detention.

Here, I fixed it for you.

>>331388671
having sex with people with Downs Syndrome is illegal bro

>>331390502
That was thoroughly enjoyable.

>Suck at League of Legends
>Boyfriend links me to this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJAN1oDRJpk
>"This guy's a pro, anon. Watch and learn."
> Believe him
> Watches and learns
> "... So it's okay to die?"
> "... No. This guy's a troll. I thought you would catch on."
> Oh.

>>331390814

Summerfags can't
>greentext.

>girlfriend has really short hair, bright red
>for halloween at school, wears rapunzel wig, blonde, down past her waist
>girl in hallway stops us and asks if it's her real hair
>mfw

>uni
>buddy sitting next to me brings up the fact that he isn't a Christian
>fat chick in front of us turns around, looks as shocked as if someone had just stolen her mayonnaise
>"you mean you're a satanist?"
>"um... no."
>"well what other religions are there?"
>we stare at her for a good ten seconds
>"oh! i know! you must be that other religion i learned about! catholic!"
>our faces when

>>331390983
>boyfriend

Tits or GTFO you stupid cunt.

>>331390909
clearly not since your alive

>>331390983

TITS.
OR.
GTFO!

>amidoinitright

>>331389746
I love dio, to bad he died. They always drink to much.

>In 7th grade science class
>Discussing winter and summer solstice
>"But i thought it depended on the groundhog!"

>>331391178
>>331391178

That's Bono, stupid. pic related, in his prime.

go read some stories at notalwaysright.com I have been raging almost nonstop reading these stories. I am exasperated at how fucking stupid some people are it is unbelievable

>9th grade
>watching short video of a skydiver
>narrated by the skydiver
>he goes on to talk about parachute complications; he is panicking
>teacher pauses video
>chick in the back of the class "DID HE LIVE?!"

>>331391109
>>331391129

See >>331388968

>>331391404

GTFO then, you stupid cunt.

>I'm buying some stuff at the corner store
>cash register display reads "$10.41"
>I hand the girl a twenty and a one
>she pauses for almost 10 seconds
>finally asks me if the $1 is a tip

>>331388968
>>331391404

>Pretend to be a femanon
>Post obvious trolls
>Actually a lifeless summerfag

Fix'd

>women
>stay
>in
>dat
>kitchen
>period

Just the other day girlfriend said that gnats are baby flies. And meant it. Very embarrassed when I told her those are separate species.

I had a couple of girls in my class back in high school. Dumbest cunts ever, huge tits, fake tan etc.
In science class one of them thought the sun was a living organism, whilst things like grass were not. The other had a problem with her car once, she said that it wouldn't drive. She called a mechanic, only to realize 15 minutes of burning rubber later that her handbrake was still on. Other than that, too many dumb bitch stories to remember

>>wear nice slacks to high school
>>girl in class mocks me for "having wrinkles in my pants"
>>she was talking about the creases on the legs

*sigh*

>>331391622
That's not so surprising. How would you know if you were never told?

>>331390814
Looks like you're having trouble greentexting. Problem summerfag?

>>331391178
I know AC/DC wasn't the same after he died.

Poor Hendrix.

>>331390909
fo rizzle?

>>331384353

OP is beta as fuck.

>Woman calls him up for littering
>He threatens to rape her
>Continues littering
>Comes to /b/ to tell everyone about it
>MFW

I go to an all girls high school,
and there was one girl in my Sex ed. class.
She asked the teacher seriously if "sperm was actually a type of fish?", that when your pregnant, is there a giant egg inside your stomach.
And "why can't we just make babies in fishtanks instead of getting pregnant".

>>331392157
Are you kidding thats alice cooper ... and hes my favourite digimon character from dbz

>>331392307
mfw theres no yfw

>cheat on my girlfriend with this one slut, no condom
>go home, get girlfriend to suck me off
>she said my dick tasted like pussy
>i tell her it was from yesturday
>she finishes

>>331391032
>greenerfags can't
summertext

>>331392503

>texterfags can't
summergreen

>be working at McDonalds
>walk outside for a smoke break
>get high as all get out and can't stop laughing
>start eating nuggets
>stupid female manager goes "are you alright?"
>I reply "I'm baked as hell and I can't quit eating!"
>I laugh some more.
>She looks at me funny.
>She says "If you're hot, then go stand outside again. You're eyes are getting red from being in here too long.

>mfw

>>331392012
She's 21 years old. She forgot how to do division the other day and didn't bother to relearn it. She's actually quite clever, she just knows nothing of the world around her and has no capability to change that.
Last year, she warned me not to eat string, cause then I'd have to pull it out of my ass. I told her that wasn't anything I'd been considering, and asked why she knew that. She informed me that she'd done it once. A little bit of prying and once turns into three times. Three times this girl has eaten string and pulled it out of her asshole, because she forgot. Twice.

>>331392503

I agree with you on that one.

>>331392684

>greensummer can't
fagtext

XD

> be a freshman in college
> career day
> tour xcel energy center with group of other people in my class
> during locker room part of tour
> "why do you have a locker room for the visiting team?"
> facepalm
> end of tour in balcony seating area
> "why do you serve beer? because then people just drive home all crazy and stuff?"
> double facepalm

sister asked if we would tell her if she was retarded. told her she was and she honestly thought she was retarded for about an hour.
shes 27.

>>331392457

Face was blank, /b/ro. I think OP wanted some kind of reaction but I can certainly say not one single fuck was given this day.

Hey summerfags if you're planning on using MFW actually
>include a picture of yfw

>mfw summerfags abound

>>331392307
>candy-ass complains about op's story
>said candy-ass is too beta to even have a story of his own

>>331392818

*highschool

>>331392797

textfaggreen
>can't summer

>>331389670
well... you can?

dumbass. i've been burned by moonlightight

>At girlfriend's house tonight
>I don't want to have sex and she does
>She goes apeshit
>I smoked a cigarette earlier tonight after I got off work
>She thinks that I hooked up with a chick after work who smokes and that's why my breath smelled

>myface

>convinced girl Antarctica's ice melted away completely

>In Media lesson
>Teacher talking about 'Enigma Theory' where the film's plot creates a puzzle for the audience
>Dumb girl shouts at stops the whole class
>"Wait wait wait.. isn't an enigma one of those, urr, erm. What are those creatures that live in shells?"
>Me: "..Snails?"
>*Class chuckle*
>"No.. OH OH I KNOW Armadillo! Isn't it one of those?"
>Teacher laughs in her face and bullies her by calling it the Armadillo theory in the future
>Girl drops out of education shortly after for lack of IQ

>>331392988

I've been burned by mooninites.
Fags smoked all my weed and straight up scumbag steve'd.

>>331393062
Fag

>>331392700
>she forgot long division the other day

What, she left it on the table before going out? wouldn't forgetting long division be noticed overtime, not suddenly?

>>331388671
>>331392700
It's these types that piss me off the most, it's not that they're flat out thick or anything.

It's that they've lived most of their lives not needing to learn shit that's common sense because they've always had others to do that for them.

I work with a girl who held up a piece of paper with "29/6/2011" written on it and asked how far away this was from now. Her excuse was that she didn't know if it was using the normal or American date system.

I'm pretty sure there isn't a 29th month.

> am doin it rite way left comrades?

>>331391178
wow...

>>331393323
i dont understand why you think long division is a skill...

>walking to our cars after class
>see really skinny kid
>girl 1 "that kid look ethiopian"
>start laughing
>girl 2 "thats not funny, thats sad"
>mfw

>>331393531
not a difficult skill per se, but its still something learned. Walking is a skill, but everyone can do it. (at least, everyone in good physical condition)

>Met this drop dead gorgeous girl at a bar
>Talked for 1/2 hour and I knew she wanted to fuck me.
> She asks "Where do you work"
> Told her "Studying at MIT to be an Engineer"
> "Does AMTRAK pay well?", she asked
I stood up and walked away without another word.

/Went to my GFs apt. and fucked her

>>331393317
Yup, I'm a total fag for not wanting to fuck after working 11 1/2 hours (30 minute "lunch" break)

>>331393731
let the virginfags be virginfags

>Be in Civics 9th grade
>Girl asks if the world used to be in black and white
>mfw
>mfw I don't have a pic

>>331393323
I'm sure it happened over time, but it was noticed in an instant.

>>331391067

How do these fucking idiots even get into college???
and because they are women you know they will be handed positions.

>>331390275
>>331390744

>>
>mfw

>> be in friends basment with girlfriend .. fake spider websevery where .. she asks are those real ... another time i said i would like to go to rome and she asked.. why whats in france that you want to do ...

>>331393062
>>331393731
and yet if she doesn't want to have sex, you're supposed to understand.

>in my dorm being a loser browsing /b/
>roommate comes back with the most retarded chick ever
>also ugly
>starts talking about how she can feel time zones like when you're on a plane and fly into one

mfw

>my sister doesn't know how to read analog time (clock faces with hands etc.)

she's 19, seriously what the fuck, right?

>Be in high school
>Riding the bus
>Girls I know sit across from me and friend
>They're blond
>Start talking to them
>Convo starts moving towards sex and shit
>Girl stops us all and asks me if black guys cum is black
>Lol and say yes
>She asks me to show her
>mfw

> high school
> convince girl her car's blinker fluid is leaking and she shouldn't drive
> she calls home and tells dad her car is leaking, to come pick her up from school
> he gets there, group of boys standing around car "keeping her company" till he did.
> dad asks what's leaking
> she tells him blinker fluid.
> dad cracks up and laughs for 5 minutes.

>6th grade, after math test results come back
>bitch complains she got lower grade than me
>i tell her it's normal, some people get good grades and some don't
>she tells me and the teacher she copied her results from me and should get the same grade

>>Tenth grade biology
>>Studying snakes
>>Teacher brings in live snake
>>Girl in front asks "Where are that lizard's legs?"
>>Couple of kids laugh, rest of room is silent
>>Teacher is lizard.
>>We're all reptiles
>>Mon visage

>In a maths lesson
>I said you can travel to the sun at night time
>Dumb bitch beleives me
>MFW

>At party, playing kings
>Don't remember which card is categories but that card gets pulled
>Person who picks card chooses the category dinosaurs
>After 4 or 5 people say obvious names, dumb girl is on the spot.
>"Rhinosauras"
MFW

Having pancakes for breakfast with a girl who's a friend of the family.
>she asks "Do you remember those pancakes that tasted like blueberry?"
>What were in those?
>mf

>>331394207
Mine can't either, or 24 hour clocks.

She only seems to be able to tell left from right about 50% of the time too.

She doesn't care about learning anything, she always has some poor idiot boyfriend to do for her.

My last gf was such a fucking idiot..i asked her to make me a blt and butter the toast. She gives me the sandwiches..she buttered the outside of the toast..the sides you hold../facepalm

>>331391540
I give exact change alot
>rings up $5.24
>pay $10.24
>their face when

Old, but still....
>Norwegian dumb ass blond
>Task: Change a CPU
>mfw every god damn work she speaks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnRAIYtAGdU

>walking around
>hear squeaky blond chick say "WOULDNT IT BE AWESUM IF LIFE WUS IN 3D LIK IN THE MOVIES"

>thought yesteryear was an actual place and wondered where it was since so much shit was going down there

>work retail
>on the wall behind the front desk in huge letters is the works "check out"
>"can I check out here?"
>"yep"
>"oh ok. I have this coupon that expired last week, can I still use it?"
>"nope"
>"WHERE IS THE MANAGER?!?!"
>happens every shift

>>331394355

She meant an 'echidna', you ass. So she easily confused one like-sounding word for another. Small chuckle, big deal. Sounds more like everyone else in the class were acting more like the dumb-asses for not being able to figure out what she meant.
While I can easily agree that even associating an echidna for some named-theory (unless related to said animal, of course) is quite silly, it hardly compliments the intelligence of your class (as already stated).

>>331394355

>facebook status of slut at my school when osama died.
>"OMG WHO IS OSAMA"
>people comment "guy who bombed twin towers"
>"WHATS A TWIN TOWER?"
>mfw

>>331394199
>>331394199
nice dubs...but yes, that's how it works

>>331393346
uh, that's the format the date is written in some other countries, you look like the idiot here thinking your way is the only way.

31st day/5th month/2011

>>331393346
LOL you fucking idiot she was right to ask.. that is metric date system use in Australia and other countries.. AHAHAHAH how does it feel to be more stupid then a girl?

>Be science teacher
>Teaching 14 year olds about Earth and space
>Girl puts hand up
>"But Sir, we don't live on the surface of the Earth do we?"
>She's completely serious
>After further pursuit by myself and intelligent male students we discover that she thinks we live underground and the sky is the surface of the planet
>mfw I realise she's kinda right

>>331395299
not sure who is most stupid, the girl or her (probably) equally retarded friends

>>331388903
Had a dumb bitch like that in my geography class one year. Retard could not point out Austin, Texas on a map (where we were), it's fucking labeled on the map and she's 18 ffs. Stupid ass spic bitch.

>>331382440

Major Retard

>>331395426

I think you are also missing the fact that there is no 29th month tardo....

331391035

branden?

>>331395426
>>331395424

Dat samefag.

>>331395426
Not knowing the metric system also makes you a retard since it's obvious you've never even gone to college

>>331386986
Fuck i lol'd

>>331395746
how could it be samefag? it was said at the same time exactly, also the guy after me has awful grammar. twat.

>>331395426
It feels relative.

>>331395426
>more stupid then a girl
>then

>>331384353
wow...you sir are my hero

girl asks me to drink her assam tea (using straw)
i drink
asks me what colour the tea is
wtf?

>>331395887

no way humans exist that are either this stupid or this trolltastic.

>>331395718

really? fucking Americans.. the 29th is the day and the 5th is the month you retard. its the format we use in Australia and many other countries.

day/month/year.

my friends girl friend is a real hair head, and has said many retarded things over the years
she thought spider monkeys where half monkey half spider

and the best she stormed in the room once after arguing with her BF and said if i say one more thing wrong ill jump off a clift, we lol'd

>>Shoving Twinkies up my ass at the park.
>>Girl walks by.
>>Asks me what I'm doing.
>>I say "Stimulating my prostate."
>>She says "I've never been of that state."
>>Blast her with ass-Twinkies.
>>Passer-by says "Looks like she found the cream-filling!"
>>We all have a good laugh, except for the girl, who almost drowned in the cream-shit stew.

Should have taken swimming lessons.

>Dumb blonde bitch that lived in my neighbourhood
>One year younger than I
>notsureiftrolling.png asks me and my friend
>"Does dirt grow like plants?"
Another time asks
>"Why aren't there clouds at night"
>Might be a clear night or they are out you just can't see them as clearly because its fucking dark
>"No WAY!!!"
mfw

>>331395424
>>331395426
...
Are you guys serious? Because if you're not trolling then you missed the whole point and you're just as dumb as the girl.

Meanwhile, in USA...

>>331396234
yeah, most of us know that.

>>331395424
>you look like the idiot here thinking your way is the only way.
You look like even more of an idiot. Let me spell it out for you.

29/6/11
6/29/11

Neither of these has any possibility for a 29th month.
>>331395426
Dates aren't in metric, neither is time.

>>331395887
doesn't know what a samefag is
>>331395727
super summerfag

>>331394772
haven't seen that, it gave my brain cancer

>>331395424
>>331395426
You dumbasses. He knew that. The point is that if it was a date like 5/2/2011 then it would be up for debate, here there's no alternative since the 29th can ONLY be the day and not t he month. Understand or should I use smaller words?

>>331396234

Completelymissedthepoint.jpg

I AM SAYING SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TELL IT WAS METRIC BECOUSE 29 WAS THE FIRST NUMBER. IF IT WASNT METRIC, IT WOULD IMPLY THAT THERE ARE 29 MONTHS. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?

>>331395718

Americanfag here.

6/29/11 (US)
=
29/6/11 (UK, Aus, etc)

You give us all a bad name. Go an hero.

>>331396401
Wow, you really don't get it do you.. he never said she said the 29th was the month, he assumed thats what she meant.. but clearly she wrote it as the day... fucking twat.

29th day/6th month/2011

6th month/29th day/2011

>

This is a few years back now, but still relevant.
>be in high school, RE lesson
>talking to 2 fatties, about religion
>convince them I was jewish
>convince them my father tries to set me on fire as part of the jewish religion
>tell them hitler was jewish
>they fucking believed it.
>mfw

>>331394355
>>331396271

>>331395424
>>331395426
you are idiots. he was implying she was a retard for using the excuse not knowing if it was metric or american. by stating that there isn't a 29th month he simply meant that she should have been able to figure it out herself or at least not have used that excuse

>>331396271

>>331394355
>>331396271
>>I made them both.

>>331396500
smaller words? the reply was to the fact she asked if it was the American or "normal" date format. normal meaning other.

ITT: Trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls about dates.

>>331396957
>>331396684
>>331396652
>>331396571
>>331396500
>>331396401

>>331396684
This argument leads me to believe that these stupid girls are just guys having misunderstandings.

>sister playing bully
>goes to geography class
>doesnt know where china, russia, germany, india or france are
>also doesnt know where north dakota, north carolina or pennsylvania are

>>331396684
>Wow, you really don't get it do you
I think I do, both the original post and that one were me.
>he never said she said the 29th was the month
Only thing you've got right
>he assumed thats what she meant
No, I assumed she was thick as fuck since she couldn't figure out that in either dd/mm/yy or mm/dd/yy it doesn't make a difference.

Ironically it's taking just as long to explain to you as it did to her.

>>331395426
>>331395424
You fucking morons, it can only be one possible day; there's no 29th month.

>>331395426
>>331395424
You two are the most retarded.

>> be in high school government class
>> talking about roe v. wade
>> only a general overview, not in depth
>> conclude discussion with the supreme court upholding right to abortion in first two trimesters
>> girl who always tried to impress teacher raises hand
>> "Did that create controversy or something?"
>> Looked at teacher
>> mfw

I don't know why my buddy and I thought this was the funniest thing, but we heard a girl in a bar order a "Flat Tire" when she meant a "Fat Tire."
Shit cracked us up for far too long.

>>331388450
Spoken like a true samefag.

using technique learned here a long time ago...
>told girl about a weird sensory illusion
>whereby she
>can actually taste salt by
>tilting head back
>closing eyes
>opening mouth, sticking tongue out
>shaking a pretend salt shaker onto tongue
She said YES, she could taste salt! and got all her friends to do the same thing! none of the others tasted anything but they didn't get the joke. I thought I was being trolled but nope, they were just idiots.

>>331396248
>"my friends girl friend is a real hair head"
>"real hair head"
>"hair head"
>"hair"

>thread about stupid bitches
>girls can't be that stupid
>try to remember a time when a guy has said something fucking retarded to me
>can't

>>331393731
Yes, you are, fucking pussy.

>>331397338
lol

>in a maths lecture
>dumb bitch who CONSTANTLY asks mos retarded question
>takes it to a new low
>lecture does question trying to find the time a victim was murdered using newtons law of cooling
>lecturer finds the time at which the body was 37 degrees
>dumb bitch interrupts him and asks why
>lecturer facepalms and responds thats basic biology
>dumb bitch still doesnt understand
>minutes later she shouts out a large ohhhh when it finally gets through that thick skull of hers
>more facepalming

>buy a strange looking bottle of milk
>female friend asks what kind of milk it is
>convince her it's bull-milk

female here, boys can be stupid too
once a guy tried to hit on me
i asked if he got facebook
he said no
haa so stupid, does not even have facebook

>>Cooking spaghetti in a library
>>Using plug-in hot-plate to boil water
>>Librarian walks up to me
>>Offer her a bowl
>>She asks "What the hell are you doing?"

Dumb bitch doesn't know what cooking is...

>>331384353

all I read here was how much of a cunt you are OP.

>>331397748
troll detected

>>331397748
0/10
are you even trying?

ITT: People who cannot put meaningful sentences together.

>bitches who don't know what green text is for hurr durr

and people who don't know what MFW means.

IDIOTS

>>331397748

>>331397810
>Cooking spaghetti in a library
>Cooking spaghetti
>library
>mfw

>>331397748

this thread is like new york, the deeper i go, the more ghetto it gets.

>>331397893
person wasnt trying retard. thats the point. stop being a fucking summerfag and giving the shitty troll attention. Shit like that you just have to ignore.

>>331397947
0/10

>Playing trivia game with buzzers in social studies back in high school
>Me, the typical blonde bimbo and some other douché are up
>Subject is potpourri, teacher asks, "How many sides does a triangle have?" with a look that says, "Jesus tits these kids better answer this right"
>Blonde bitch hits the buzzer first and answers "Four"
>The resulting facepalm shook the earth for miles around

>be me
>post a mfw without a picture

>mfw

>in year nine science
>teacher starts handing out microscopes
> douche bag yells out 'were looking at semen'
>Stupid and ironicly ugly girl says "But how will they fit under the microscope?"
>I turn around and say "Are you fucking serious?, How stupit are you woman?"
>Teacher calmly tells me not to make fun of other students and continues teaching
>Best friend laughs his fucking arouse off

mfw

>>331398100
>not the only one that posted on it
0/10
Nice try anus go to bed
Are you even trying?

>>331397748
GTFO

>at uni
>finish eating my chips and drop the packet where i'm standing
>dumb girl tells me baby seals get their heads trapped in chip packets
>apologize instantly and pick them up
>run home, ashamed
>make thread on /b/
>FUCK GIRLS THEYRE DUMB
>samefag
>>331386050

Be uphere in /b/ when femanon -
>female here, boys can be stupid too
>once a guy tried to hit on me
>i asked if he got facebook
>he said no
>haa so stupid, does not even have facebook

>mfw

>>Sneak ninja stars into the zoo
>>Go to panda exhibit
>>Throw stars at pandas, expecting them to dodge it
>>Female zookeeper makes me leave
Bitch has never seen Kung Fu Panda...

>>331398302
>thinks i was samefag
>doesnt know how to detect samefag

go to bed, newfag.

>girlfriend tells me her college algebra class is full of retards
>don't believe her
>sit in on a class
>professor tells the class to open the book and copies a problem from it.
>a girl asks where the professor got x = 3 from.
>x = 3 was given in the problem
>mfw

There were a lot more retarded things said during that class, but it's the only thing I remember.

>be in history, 11th grade
>two kids run at each other, slam into each other
>or some shit I don't know I wasn't really watching
> kid 1 jokingly says "OW my ovaries"
>kid 2 "you don't have ovaries!"
>dumbitch "DUHH everyone has ovaries"

my classes face

>>331398476

>>331398214
>arouse off

wat.

At the DMV. Finally up to the lady. She asked what my birthday was. "May 28th." I replied. She asks, "What month"?

>presentation of calculus exercises at uni
>topic is show, that every polynomial function is continuous
>stupid cunt stands up to solve
>goes to the blackboard and draws parable
>and says its continuous
>prof. asks that she should show why
>she replies: cant you see it..

> GF mentions pawn stars
> tell her she should call gamestop and see if they have battletoads
> she says it's not a real game
> tell her to look it up
> she says sorry she didn't hear of it before (she likes games)
> she calls them
> they hang up on her
> she asks some friends
> they laugh
> she comes to me and pouts cause nobody wants to tell her about the game
> mfw i still didn't tell her it was fake

>>331398482
>Implying I was assuming you were samefag
1/10 made me repost keep spouting your samefag/newfag/summerfag bullshit and keep looking stupid we love it

>>331398214
>mfw when neckbeard tells a story mocking someone else's intelligence, but can't even fucking spell "stupid"
>mfw when neckbeard tells a story mocking someone else's intelligence, but doesn't even understand the meaning of the word "ironically"
>mfw when neckbeard tells a story mocking someone else's intelligence, but spells "arse" as "arouse"

also who the fuck says arse anyway you fucking candy-ass retard

So you're an inconsiderate dick that litters.

Cool story bro.

Women have clearly have been degrading the gene pool ever since the first stupid bitch ate an apple when told not to.

>>Steal technician uniform and go into random office building
>>Start beating a copy machine with a crowbar
>>Female boss asks what I'm doing
>>I tell her corporate sent me in to do repairs on their office equipment
>>She threatens to call police
>>I threaten to file a complaint with corporate, accusing her of insubordination
>>She calls cops
>>I leave
They never found me. Cops were probably women, too.

>>331398794
Someone got trolled

>>331395550
Do you teach at CSHS?

>>331398690
>>331398482

>>331398687
> mfw i still didn't tell her it was fake
umm.. wat?

>>331391210

you know, there are certain people I support euthanizing. The person who said that is one of them.

> be 16
> at a house party
> was playing blackjack with a hot girl, another dumb slutty but hot girl and a couple of friends
> the slutty girl was winning most of them, I though to myself hmm this girl aint so dumb after all
> the last round came, had a crap hand so i folded
> others stayed in
> said girl wins with a full house
> "YAY I WON! I'M THE CHAMPION OF BJ!"

My face when

>>331399131
>anon doesnt see its a troll

>in college biology
>prof mentions sperm molecules contains the sugar fructose
>blonde chick blurts out "then why doesn't it taste sweet"
>class laughs, blonde chick never to be seen again.

>>331398687
lols he doesn't get it

>>331387701
>>331392307
>>331398805
yEAH BRO. wHAT THE FUCK YOU GOT HUH

>>331394772
I can't watch this, the stupidity is overwhelming!

Ordered some beer batter chips today and i was asked for ID by the chick behind the counter
I gave her my ID and she said i couldn't be served that.
I ask her why
>You can't have it because its 'beer' batter, not hard concept to grasp.
At first i laugh because i think im being trolled and just ask for extra salt.
She still looks at me seriously and refuses to serve me.
I ask for the manager, so she goes and gets him.
The manager literally said
>Sorry about her, she can be a bit slow at times
he then upgrades me to a large beer batter chips.
Whilst im waiting for my order i heard him yelling at her from the staff room.
Can barely stop myself from laughing.

>>331398669
>draws parable
Is this for calculus or English?

>>331396234
Okay, please dear Jesus
Not the op of that story, but seriously

So many of you are not getting this

The girl in the story asked if it was metric or US style calendar

the first number was 29

It was obviously metric, that was the point of the story

She was too stupid to realize it had to be metric, not American, because there is no 29th month

That is the joke

Both the op and the girl understood there are two ways to read dates

But she didn't have the natural intuition to figure it out from simple logical context

>mfw I'm arguing with goddamned trolltastic retarted australian summerfags on newt gingrich

>>331396652
I'm afraid you're wrong.
If the girl wasn't sure whether it was US or UK date style, then she'd have still read the same date if she read it correctly, considering she hadn't read it correctly, she must have thought there could be a 29th month.
Fucktards


Schooled.

>>331399534
obviously meant parabola

>feminists at my university tried to honor successful female graduates of our university
>made a poster with their names
>wrote "Lisa Meitner" instead of "Lise Meitner"
>raped every last one of them for this shit

>Be a baller and decide to buy a cake for friends birthday
>Decide on black forest
>Tell girl friend about it
>She says "Thats so gross."
>Ask why
>Why would you want a cake with ham in it?
>mfw when I have no face

>>331399196
>playing blackjack
>blackjack
>fullhouse

>be 16

sounds about right

>>331388718
which maccas do you work at in bris?

>>331393899

this makes me want to kill myself. It the type of sheer idiocy that hurts to even fucking THINK about... i mean, what the FUCK!? 1st grade, that would be acceptable, 3 grades before college, not so much..

>Be in geography class.
>Girl asks if Spain is a planet.
mfw

OPs pic is a shoop

>>331399534 yeah me not from english speakin country

>>331399290
>prof mentions sperm molecules contains the sugar fructose
>prof mentions sperm molecules
>sperm molecules
>mfw

>>331399670
Obviously retarded and Obviously butt hurt over being called out on it.
I present you with the retarded female award.

>me,mate and girl mate getting photos printed off in big W
>lady sitting next to us
>girl mate cant use machine for shit
>i offer to do it for her
>bitch gets up starts spewing feminism shit
>my mate tells her to mind her own fucking business
>dyke stands up and tells friend to back down
(stoopid dyke is stoopid)

>texting girl
>tells me to meet up with her
>agree reluctantly
>tells me to bring soda
>i do
>makes me walk a mile in forest
>better get my dick sucked
>get text "i get picked up in 20 minutes, hurry! :("
>imad
>new text "did you bring the soda lol?"
>all she gives a shit about is the fucking soda
>finally meet up with her
>she asks "did you bring the soda love?" and smiles
>dump soda on the ground in front of her
>toss bottle at her
>"here's you're fucking soda"
>walk home
>mfw

> meet girl who tries to make me an atheist
> Explain her that she will burn in hell
> She says "you're stupid, God according to the bible couldn't even exist because there are too much contradictions in the bible"
> So I say ofcourse: "I really like you but do you believe you can understand a being so smart and complex as God?"
> Stupid cunt says: "I respect your beliefs even though I think you are wrong"

MFW the stupid whore is going to burn in hell forever

>black kid in my history class
>joke that he is obama
>just before his inauguration
>girl turns around and asks when his inNIGGERation is

notsureiftrollorifjustreallystupid.jpg

so i go to this shitty school filled with the scummiest people known to man.
most are guys and most are douchebags with no intelligence what so ever.
There are a few chicks but one of them...nyaw my god. SHE WORE SOCKs WITH FLIP FLOPS! And one time she was talking about some dudes gf and said 'i wouldnt fuck her even if a had any guys dick' i said 'wow what a fail insult' and everyones like 'WHAT NO ITS NOT'
I want to murder every single one of them.

>>331399622
>australian summerfags

BAHAHAH

>metric date

BAHAHA

>>331399981

>at newt gingrich
>told stupid female story on stupid female story thread
>female things she's being smart
>points out that I said sperm molecule
>female assumes sperm isn't made of matter
>mfw

>>331400238
>She needed that soda for here dying father
dick

>>331400290
0/10 candy-ass!

>>331400290
You're an idiot, she did nothing right and treated you with respect, and then you talk shit about her behind her back on /b/, you're going to hell

>>331400290
-100000/10

>>331400290
troll detected 1/10

>>331400290
>mfw you believe god is a being

>>331400290

>>331399622

>retarted australian summerfags

>mfw it's winter in Australia

>poster is obviously a woman

>be in AP Environ Science class.
>teacher talks about how plants absorb sunlight to get energy
>girl in class asks teacher why she gets tired when she's in the sunlight so long

>be eating dinner at school
>fruit on offer was blood oranges
>friend looks weirded out at the inside of the oranges
>we explain that they're called blood oranges
>*long pause*
>"so... do they suck the blood out of regular oranges?"

>>331400619
>doesnt realize it's a troll
go to bed, summerfag

>>331399290

*beats face against keyboard*

this thread is hilarious, but it completely explains why our species is completely FUCKED.

>>331400405
She was right, sperm is not a molecule, it is made of molecules (all matter is), but is not a molecule in itself. She is pretty smart, you sir, are a dumb ass, take a science class before you go correcting peoples science comments

ITT: Aspies that don't get sarcasm and jokes.

>>331393451
summer...

>>331396248
>>331398687

You two people are both dumb as fuck

>be running laps in PE
>over hear another girl talking to another girl about whether she can get pregnant if she swallows after bj.
>the other girl isn't entirely sure and runs over to another girl to confirm.
>

>>331400405
In given context it should be
>sperm CELLS contains the sugar fructose

>met bitch
>got bitch in bed
>fucked her vag like crazy
>put penis out off vag
>placed it on her pooper
>pushed it inside
>bitch asks: "why do guys always do that"

bitch so stupit

>>331400914
re-read
>>331399290
and note the 's' attached to the end of the word 'molecule'.

>>331388430

>at movies with ex
>trailer for shitty Alamo movie plays
>I joke about not knowing the ending
>gf asks "We won right?"
>little respect for her intelligence gone

>>331400914
stupid idiot, and what are atoms made of?

>>331401038

Stop. just fucking STOP NOW!
i cant handle it anymore. Our species is doomed.

>>331393899
please tell me thats not real...

>>331401186
I hope you know the USA lost that battle

>fuckin a chick
>ask her who was phone
>she says it was her brother
>mfw her father is her brother

why girls so stupid

>>in geography class
>>teacher says to girl: where is washington?
>>points at somewhere in Ethiopia
>>mfw

>>331394355
WIN

>>331401083
>>331401083
Youre a fucken moron.
I hope she get pregnant and you have to raise a double retard baby because you are just as stupid as her for fucking such a dumb whore

>>331401069
Either way is correct when speaking off the chemical makeup. Why you insist others to say it the same way you do is beyond me.

>>331398687
you know battletoads is a real game right?

looking at cheese pizza on computer
gf comes up from behind
umm she looks a bit young
oh thats just the angle
oh ok
sits at her computer

Op is a typical student.

>>331401384
I hope you know the USA wasn't even in that battle.

>>331393346
Master troll

Or at the very least, would probably like us to think so

>>331401729
canada had some nerve back in those days.

>>331401181
>mfw to stupid to see it's damn wrong to say sperm molecules contains sugar molecules!
Sperm is made of thousands of different molecules, and a molecule does not contain a molecule!

>Summerfags don't know what mfw means.
>mwf

>>331401181
bro, just admit it, you fucked up, its cells, not molecules

>be in Geography class
> teacher talking about Britain, points to the map
> Girl: "OMG is England an island??"
> Everybody looks like they want to Facepalm so hard.

>>331401914
Jesus Christ I REALLY hope you're trolling or are female. Both would explain why your posts are so goddamn stupid.

>>331402028

summerfag that acts like an oldfag but instead gets trolled

>>331395424
>>331395426
There is no country that has a 29th month.

Also,
>then

>>331401873
0/10
>>331401729
yeah ok Texas was in it, not the whole USA

>>331401283
stupid idiot! Molecules are made of atoms, atoms aren't made of molecules... and he was right

>>331389966

Perhaps she....lied? She could have been doing anything during that hour.

>> In Class doing programing assignment
>> creating a struct to represent a 4x4 matrix with equals, multiply and dot product functions
>> girl asks why we don't just create a class
>> mfw

It's funny how everynewt gingrich is paying out the simpletons, to make themselves feel superior.

The thing is that the morons are probably outside living life, making the most of their best years, while you are spending your time at home on your computer, greentexting on a chan board......

oh boy i'm happy i saw this thread, i have a very stupid spoilt fucking bitch for some reason chose to do the IB, it makes me so angry

>sitting in library writing up english essay
>"OH MY GOD!" from her, sitting in the chair next to me
>"..what"
>"DID YOU KNOW DRAGONS NEVER ACTUALLY EXISTED? I THOUGHT THEY WAS EXTINCT"

>in Geography watching an Al Gore video to form our own opinions on Global Warming or some shit
>get shown this clip from Futurama as a joke by teacher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2taViFH_6_Y
>"WHOA I DIDN'T KNOW THEY ACTUALS DROP AN ICE CUBE INTO THE SEA"
>teacher facepalms and looks at me for support since I usually make a comment
>i'm actually caught off guard since i didn't expect this, simply facepalm and teacher tells girl it's just a cartoon
>i feel like punching her in amazement

>she's on one of her usual preaches about how amazing Christianity is, being an Agnostic Catholic myself I don't usually care but she cannot argue for shit and just tells atheists in college to "stop talking" as a response
>"where was Jesus borneded again?" (not a typo)
>"uh, think it was Bethlehem wasn't it, my friend went there a few months ago."
>"IS BETHLEHEM STILL ALIVE?"
>...the fuck

>last week friday
>i troll girl and convince her that Asia is the capital of Bangladesh
>all boys and the girls that don't hang out with her (basically everyone that isn't a fucking roody-poo) join in
>in mock exam in Geography
>after we finished
>"Miss, I used a case study of Asia in Bangladesh, is that extra marks?"
>teacher looks at me and starts laughing her ass off

>>331402277
texas wasn't part of the USA back then, dumbfuck

>>331402547
that was what I was trying to say by saying that it was only Texas

>>331395426
>then
not that person, but how does it feel to use the wrong word and be the most stupid out of the situation?

>>331402102
Well then, explain what's so wrong...
Last time I checked, molecules contains atoms

then again

>sperm cells contains sugar fructose
>Sperm molecules contains atoms
>Atoms contains protons and neutrons, orbited by electrons

>mates and i watching "wanted" movie
movie is about curving bullets, assassins and shit
>girl asks "can you really curve bullets?"
>im stuck between a facepalm and a laugh

but saying it wasn't the "whole USA" implies texas was part of it at all. it wasn't, it was just a breakaway part of mexico at the time.

>>Be 19 and out on the town on a saturday night.
>>its the end of the night and we tired but wanna fuck some girls.
>>sitting in Kebab store and my buddy says hold up i'll txt some bitches and see who will come for some action
>>he gets a bite, and we wait for this stupid whore to arrive.
>>While we wait we laugh about how we should spit roast her
>>She arrives and sits down with us
>>buddy tells her in an excited voice all the cool shit we are gonna do when we get back to his place. ''We're gonna have some more drinks, play some music, get you on the spit, and play tag team...''
>>she is all excite and replies ''yeah awesome!''

<<Mfw she has no idea what she just is agreeing to